Ever heard of Gillian Lynne? Probably not.
But you’ve definitely heard of Cats and Phantom of the Opera, right? Well, she’s the mastermind choreographer behind those shows. But here’s the kicker: when Gillian was a kid, she wasn’t labeled a genius.
She was labeled… “hopeless.”
Yep, her teachers were convinced something was wrong with her because she couldn’t sit still.
She was fidgety, distracted, and—heaven forbid—late with her homework.
Naturally, her school did what any school would do in the early 20th century when they didn’t understand a kid: they sent her to a specialist.(Not much different in today’s times as well)
So off Gillian went, with her mother explaining for 20 straight minutes about all the “issues” Gillian had.
Meanwhile, Gillian sat there, probably itching to fidget her way out of that chair. The specialist listened, nodded thoughtfully, and then—plot twist!—asked to speak to Gillian’s mom in private.
But as they left the room, he pulled a sneaky move: he turned on the radio and peeked back through the window.
What happened next? Gillian started dancing.
Right there in the office. Like a scene from Footloose, but with less angst and more “aha!” moments.
The specialist turned to her mother and said, “Mrs. Lynne, Gillian isn’t sick. She’s a dancer. Get her to a dance school.” And the rest, as they say, is history.
She thrived, became a world-renowned choreographer, and probably never did her homework on time again.
So, What’s the Point?
Here’s the point: your child’s fidgeting and lack of focus might not mean they’re doomed. They could just be waiting for their inner Cats to burst out. The real challenge? Figuring out what makes your child dance—maybe not literally (but hey, who knows?).
And that brings us to you, dear parent. Before you start signing your kid up for every class under the sun, there are three simple but powerful steps you can take to truly connect with your child and unleash their potential.
But first, we need to talk about your role in this.
Step Zero: Get Clear on Your Intentions
Before you start steering your child toward ballet, coding, or the electric guitar, take a deep breath and ask yourself: why do I want them to do this? Is it because you always wanted to be a rock star? Or maybe you just fear they’ll end up glued to a screen 24/7 (a reasonable concern).
Add screen concern with two way communication before concluding your next move.
Get clear on whether you’re pushing for their sake or your own. Once your intentions are in check, it’s time to shift gears from being the manager of your kid’s calendar to being the compassionate guide on their journey of discovery. And that starts with learning some killer communication skills.
Step 1: Observe Without Judgement (Yes, Really)
Before you roll your eyes at the idea of sitting back and watching, think about it. How often do we rush to fix, diagnose, or manage our kids? The key here is simple: watch what they gravitate toward, what makes their eyes light up, and what bores them to tears. Do they love banging on pots and pans? Maybe they’re the next Ringo Starr. Are they daydreaming more than listening to you? Hey, you might have the next Tolkien on your hands!
Resist the urge to label or intervene too soon. Just… watch. You might discover they’re expressing their potential in ways that don’t fit into your neatly labeled boxes.
Step 2: Create a Judgment-Free Zone (aka Their Play Lab)
Your home shouldn’t just be a snack factory; it should be a space where your kid feels free to explore without the pressure of becoming a prodigy. This means creating an environment where they can fail, experiment, and—most importantly—enjoy the process. Maybe that means tossing a drum set in the living room or setting up a space for them to tinker with art supplies or code their own video game.
The goal isn’t perfection; it’s play. And no, signing them up for 10 different after-school activities isn’t what I mean. Give them the space to pursue what lights them up—without a spotlight on results.
Step 3: Have Open, Compassionate Conversations (Not Interrogations)
Here’s a radical idea: instead of asking your child “What did you learn today?” or “Did you finish your homework?”, how about asking, “How did you feel today?” or “What made you curious?” Open-ended questions lead to real conversations, not one-word answers (though beware: “fine” may still happen).
These conversations help your child process their emotions and experiences. You’re not just their manager; you’re their guide. You’re helping them navigate their world in a way that fosters self-awareness and growth. Plus, you’ll get insight into what’s working for them and what’s not—without the pressure to succeed or perform.
Compassionate Communication -what’s that got to do with child’s potential ?
Now, if all this sounds a little daunting, here’s the good news: learning to observe, support, and converse openly with your child is a skill you can develop.
The secret sauce? Compassionate communication—the kind that helps your child feel seen, heard, and empowered to take action.
It’s not about talking at them; it’s about connecting with them.
It’s about nurturing their unique potential, even when that potential looks more like “random doodles” than “next Mozart.” And, guess what? When you communicate with compassion, your child feels safe to explore, fail, and ultimately grow into their best self.
So, parents, here’s your mission: put down the parenting rulebook and start developing the skill that matters most—communication.
Learn to listen. Learn to observe. Learn to empower.
The next Gillian Lynne might just be fidgeting in your living room, waiting for you to turn on the music.
Who knows? You might even discover your own inner dancer in the process.